Monday, January 30, 2012

Families are Forever!

Wow...it has been a long time I have posted anything on this thing. Is anyone still out there??? If I didn't have Facebook on my phone...people would wonder. (I hope they would!)
So December was a big month for our little family! On December 13th in the Third District Court, Judge John Kennedy granted our adoption to be legalized.

The fact that we were going to Court to legalize the adoption of our son felt weird to us. He had felt like our baby from the day he was born. It didn't really hit me until the morning of. To sit in front of a judge and to be sworn in...was a different experience. I wish everyone who had a child had to go to court and swear to a judge that you were going to love and care for your baby. I was so happy to have family there that have been so supportive through this process. It was an amazing experience and it was such a great day!

Then on December 17th, 2011 in the Oquirrah Mountain Temple we were Sealed together for time and all eternity! Ahhhhh!!


At the beginning of the adoption process I kind felt a little jipped (is that a real world). I wanted to be the one to carry the baby, to be pregnant...all of those things. Well when I was sitting in the sealing room and my mom carried my baby in. All of those feelings went away! Because not everyone gets to do what we got to do! The sealing was short and sweet and the amount of love that I felt that day is still overwhelming. I'm starting to cry just thinking about it! I have never felt so much love from my Heavenly Father as I did that day. My life is sometimes very surreal! I have been so incredibly blessed!
The next day Sunday December 18th, 2011...my husband blessed our beautiful baby! And during the blessing I was holding our birth moms hand as we both cried! It was an amazing feeling and I felt so much love and gratitude toward her .
Erica...I hope you always know that you were so much a part of that day and it meant the world to me to have you sitting next to me!
When I think about what it took to get Gavin to our family and what we went through...I would do it all over! I would experience every bad day again now that I know the outcome! I know so many people in there lives have hard times and wonder why they are going through something. And its so easy to say that it will get better...but its not always easy to hear. I was that person that would cry if someone with 4 kids would try and tell me they knew how I felt. Well I know now...we all have our stuff. We all go through hard and challenging things. I just know with 100% certainty...that after the hard stuff...there is GREAT stuff!


Wednesday, November 30, 2011

H A L L O W E E N 2011

This was Gavin's Halloween Costume this year...So freaking cute! When we were shopping for a costume it came down to this and a dragon. I loved both but couldn't decide. Morgan said to me, "Well you only have a couple of years that you can dress him like a chicken so you might as well do it now." So he was my little chicken for Halloween. Holidays are so much more fun with him...like everything else he just makes everything so much better!

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Growing so fast....

Well little Gavin is getting so big so fast....it makes me sad! I'm excited for him to get bigger but I want to soak in every little second of him...it does scare me to think that he might be my only baby. So I don't want to miss out on anything!!
I decided to put together a monthly timeline in pictures so you could see how big he is getting.....
Is he not the cutest baby you have ever seen?? Every time I look at him my heart melts....I just cant kiss him enough! He is five months now almost six.
I wish I had done this every month but I might as well start now..instead of not starting at all.
At five months he is:
Playing with his hands all of the time
Loves to stand (with us holding his hands)
Rolling...cant get him to stop
Laughing
Talking to us...a-goo a-goo a-goo
Watching the dogs
Loves Apple Sauce & Sweet Potatoes
Loves the water!!
Loves giving kisses to his mama on the cheek...there slobbery but I love them!
Holding his own bottle...he gets frustrated when we try to hold it
Loves listening to his Mom sing...finally I have an audience...so there Mr. Findlay!!!
I love everything about him but especially:
Mornings
When I get him out of his crib..his smile is priceless
His laugh
When he grabs my face and sucks on my cheek
Watching him and Morgan together
Rocking him to sleep
Singing/Reading to him
Staying home with him
His little bum (awkward???)
So its pretty much a total love fest between the two of us. I feel so incredibly blessed and cant imagine my life without him. Next month we will finalize our adoption and go to the temple...awwwwww.....insert total bliss!!!




Thursday, October 20, 2011

Love! Grattitude! Heavy Heart!

I have been wanting to update my blog with a bunch of cute pictures of Gavin, and I still will but I needed to write this while I had a little bit of time.
I woke up this morning like I usually do with such a heavy heart full of grattitude for my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and my Heavenly Father. I have been blessed with the most beautiful baby who makes me happier then I ever thought I would be. For a long time I was a bitter, frustrated and angry person. Not only have I become a mother but I have become myself again. I feel like my old self that was positive, happy and cheerful! That has been such a huge breathe of fresh air...to feel like me!
My sister is expecting a baby in April and I am excited! For the first time in 7 years someone told me she was pregnant and I didnt hold back tears! I didnt have to put on a brave face. I was 100% excited and the best part....I can say to them...Oh you just wait until this...or this...my sister actually said to me once when I was bathing Gavin...your going to show me how to do this, right! That statement alone made me want to cry!
So yep....I am LOVING being a mom to the most beautiful baby. Its crazy how many people ask..."So how are you liking it?" I LOVE IT ya FOOL! Of course I do...is usually my response. :)
Well pictures soon to come...I gots to go now because my baby is rolling all over the place and I almost done building his bubble room that he will spend the next 18 years in...dont worry...its really nice!!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

I {heart} adoption

For a long time now I have been trying to put my feelings into words. Every time I try...my words just feel in adequate. To say that I heart adoption seems not strong enough...to say that adoption has changed my life...sounds better!
When Morgan and I were trying to conceive a child with the help of drugs (not even the good kind), doctors, blah blah...adoption was the furthest from my mind. I would actually get so offended when people would say that to me.
When we FINALLY, and I say finally because it took me far to long, FINALLY turned it over to the Lord...we realized Adoption was going to be our path. It was like Heavenly Father smacked me on the back of my head and said it was about time. The two years we waited for our baby we went on quite the roller coaster. Even leading up to his birth was hard. Even though our birth mom never gave me one indication that she was changing her mind...I still was nervous. I had reason to be...I had two failed placements under my belt. I knew the dark side of adoption....I had experienced it. The day Gavin was born we went over to my Mom and Dads house on the way home from the hospital to show them pictures...and my Mom said to me, "I don't think you should adopt again. I dont know if I can take it." I said to her, "Mom, wait until you meet him. He was totally worth it."
And that explains it best....He was worth every bad day, every tear, every doubt...He was so worth it!


On really bad days I would call my caseworker MaryAnne and cry to her...and she would tell me that this will all be worth it. She was totally right. Before Gavin came I was at times a bitter and mean person. I was the person people hated to share happy news with. I could never go to baby showers and baby blessings...and if I did I would be fighting back the tears waiting until I could get my car and get the hell out of there. Gavin and the miracle of adoption has mended my heart! I say mended because I still get a little sad when women get pregnant so easily but now that sadness only lasts a second and then I cuddle my sweet baby! The baby I know I held in the pre-existence and put my faith in Heavenly Father to make sure he got to me.
So would I do it again...if the result was as Awesome as Gavin....I totally would! I would do it all over again and wait double the amount of time. I love that baby more then I ever thought I could. I don't take one day for granted. I wake up every morning with a smile on my face so excited to see my little man! And the very very best part is that he is just as excited to see me!!

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

The Babies Room!!!

Can you imagine how much joy that brings me even just typing it....
Last year I kind of gave up on ever having a baby and turned the empty room into a beautiful guest room...well only 1 year and 4 months later we found out we would finally be getting a baby. So we started planning what we would want this room to look like. And if you know me...I don't do anything small. And even though I had been imagining this room for...oh 6 years..I actually started picking things out..that I could buy!! No more dreamin!!


The bedding that inspired the color scheme...
Thank You Target!!

My most favorite room/project that I have EVER done!

This was easier then it looks...
And I can say that Morgan...because I painted the darn thing!

My most favorite thing in this room....
the beautiful baby that occupies it!
Love him..Like crazy love him!!

More images of Baby Room.....

This chair was given to me from My Grandparents that I
had recovered in a fabric that would match the room.
It is the most comfy chair...I find myself falling asleep in it..lots!

My favorite part of the room...
I see this picture every time I walk into this room.
So when I am feeding the babe at 2am I see her beautiful face...
and I am reminded why I am so blessed to be feeding that sweet baby!

Dresser that we turned into a changing table as well!


This is a family portrait of Morg, Gavin and I...
My 6year old niece Peighton was the artist!


Re-used the frames I had in the guest room.