Thursday, February 9, 2012

The Variables in Life...part 2

So I was looking over some past posts when I came across this little number titled, The Variables in Life. I actually started laughing out loud...because I pretty much nailed it! And it made me think about something that we talked about in Sunday school a couple of Sundays ago. We were talking about praying for certain things and that they don't always come to us when we want them. Well of course I had to raise my hand. I explained that I had prayed for something (a baby) for 7 years. And during those 7 years there were times that I was extremely bitter and angry. I was closing my heart to the spirit. I was not allowing myself to be taught. And it wasn't until I changed my attitude that the spirit was able to teach me. The teacher then said, "And it wasn't until you changed your attitude did you receive what you had been praying for." I said NO! If I hadn't been in church I probably would have said, Hell No! That's the way I roll! After everyone laughed and I stood for my bow and gathered up the roses people had thrown at me. I explained that even though I had changed my attitude I didn't receive the baby that I was praying for. And most likely my attitude would slip back over to the dark side. But...it was during those times that my Savior would wrap his arms around me and I felt his love so strongly. I was given the strength to keep going. It was what I needed in the meantime. As a in-fertile person people say a lot of stupid things to you...A lot! One of my favorites is...well if you would stop thinking about it, it will happen. Like people with cancer could just stop thinking about there cancer then it will go away. Oh no she didn't just compare her in-fertility to cancer! I didn't! My uncle has cancer and I bet you he never goes one day without thinking about that fact. What he does though is not let that define him. He doesn't let his cancer decide how he is going to live his life. I wish that I had not let my in-fertility define me. I wish that I would have allowed more days for my heart to be humbled. I would have been a much happier person!
So to wrap up this long speech... Don't let the crappy things you are going through in your life define your life! The Lord understood that I sometimes needed a pitty party. He probably just wishes they didn't last as long as they did. I am just so grateful that when I pulled my head up and cleared my mind that the spirit stepped in and mended my heart! It always gave me the strength to keep on keepin on!