Today is a new day!

I just wanted to let you all know that I am still with you all and did not get committed or walk into on-coming traffic. With the help of a couple very dear friends...I came to my realization and my New Years Resolution. What is...IS!
The fact that good and bad people around me get to have babies and I don't...haS nothing to do with me. Do I still get sad? Yes! Am I still jealous of other people and there fertility? Hell Yes! Will I still remind pregnant women to shut-up and stop complaining? You better believe it!
I am though going to take my couple of minutes to be sad and then really try to be positive. I was really sad though all weekend and could just not figure out why.
Not being a Mom is something that I only I can deal with. I am the only one who lives in my head (well that's up for discussion) I can only tell myself how to feel.
So for my New Years Resolution I am going to try really hard to be positive!
I should tell you this....
Monday going to work I was so upset but hid my feelings pretty well. And then tuesday I looked at my cute friend who I see as a sister and thought...What am I upset about. So I gave her a big hug (We both cried) I told her I loved her and that I was here for her. I felt so great after! Letting my hurt feelings go had never made me feel better! I told her that I think I am a very strong person. I have been on this rollar coaster for almost FIVE years and I always bounce back. Once again the brick wall....I can take the beating. I Think.....
Well now that all of that is said....
I'M GOING TO DISNEYLAND SUCKERS!
LOVE LOVE LOVE