Holy Moly have I been a blog slacker! So a couple of weeks ago I was getting my hair done and I was talking to my fab hair person Debbi and we were talking about adoption. I was telling her some of the comments that people make that can sometimes annoy, offend or hurt my feelings. So I thought I would just list a couple and explain why they can be sometimes offensive. 
1. Anytime someone says...She gave him up.
In the Adoption community those two words "gave up" are not in our vocabulary!! As parents to the most beautiful baby boy we 100% believe that she didn't give him up...she placed him with his parents. And not only do Morgan and I think this but so does his Birth Mom! I strongly believe that if birth moms thought for one second that the were giving there babies up they would NEVER be able to place those babies. The term Give-Up to me means that you get rid of something. Our birth mom could not get rid of us if she tried. She will be in our lives forever! She will be in Gavin's life forever! 
2. Is it weird to see his Birth Mom? 
How can I say this in a lady like fashion.... HELL NO!!! Sorry that is the best way I could say it. Of course I love this girl because she brought Gavin into this world but I honestly like her! When Gavin was born and it was placement day I was excited to see and hold him but my heart and soul needed to hug her! I wanted her in my arms and I only thought about her. It has never been awkward or weird to see her or spend time with her. She is an extension of our family! Luckily for us we were able to build a relationship with her before Gavin was born. I think its that relationship that we started week 14 of her pregnancy that helped us through it. I can only wish that every birth mom/parent could meet and find there family as soon as possible so they can get to know each other so the adoption process is easier. 
3. He is so lucky to have you guys! 
And YES he is....but we are 100% the lucky ones! I get so frustrated when people say this because his birth mom is a wonderful person and she could have raised Gavin. She knew though that Gavin was meant to be in our family. We know that our Heavenly Father has a plan for all of us and his plan was to send Gavin to us though her! We are just so lucky and blessed that she recognized that plan!

I don't know why I wrote this but I just felt like that I could shed some light on some things that can sometimes hurt ones feelings. But People should ask though...by asking in a sincere way we are able to learn from others experiences. Peace out though and spread the word that Adoption is a freaking miracle!!! 
 
 

Gavin's First Birthday!!

It was more like an Extravaganza! Prepare yourself for the overload of pictures! I planned this party for months...you could almost say that I was planning this party for years! People could say that I went a little overboard with this party...but I don't care! I loved everything about it, the sleepless nights, the food, the planning...I loved it all! Thanks to my hubby who was such a huge help to me! And also my Mom and Mom-in-law who helped me with the food.

 

 

 I am sad that this picture is missing the mini key lime pies that I made that turned out adorable! They were in the fridge when I took this picture!

 

 We had resisted giving Gavin any processed sugar before his birthday and we debated on whether to have a normal full of sugar cake or a healthier one. We went for the full of sugar delicious one. Well he LOVED it...but didn't go to bed until midnight that night! Oh well! It was worth it to see him devour this thing.

 My beautiful amazing Grandma who I adore and my beautiful birthday boy!! 

He did have clothes on for his party....this is what he looked like after he got cake everywhere!

I can't believe my baby is ONE! I love him so much and can not imagine my life without him. This last year has been the best year of my life.

The Variables in Life...part 2

So I was looking over some past posts when I came across this little number titled, The Variables in Life. I actually started laughing out loud...because I pretty much nailed it! And it made me think about something that we talked about in Sunday school a couple of Sundays ago. We were talking about praying for certain things and that they don't always come to us when we want them. Well of course I had to raise my hand. I explained that I had prayed for something (a baby) for 7 years. And during those 7 years there were times that I was extremely bitter and angry. I was closing my heart to the spirit. I was not allowing myself to be taught. And it wasn't until I changed my attitude that the spirit was able to teach me. The teacher then said, "And it wasn't until you changed your attitude did you receive what you had been praying for." I said NO! If I hadn't been in church I probably would have said, Hell No! That's the way I roll! After everyone laughed and I stood for my bow and gathered up the roses people had thrown at me. I explained that even though I had changed my attitude I didn't receive the baby that I was praying for. And most likely my attitude would slip back over to the dark side. But...it was during those times that my Savior would wrap his arms around me and I felt his love so strongly. I was given the strength to keep going. It was what I needed in the meantime. As a in-fertile person people say a lot of stupid things to you...A lot! One of my favorites is...well if you would stop thinking about it, it will happen. Like people with cancer could just stop thinking about there cancer then it will go away. Oh no she didn't just compare her in-fertility to cancer! I didn't! My uncle has cancer and I bet you he never goes one day without thinking about that fact. What he does though is not let that define him. He doesn't let his cancer decide how he is going to live his life. I wish that I had not let my in-fertility define me. I wish that I would have allowed more days for my heart to be humbled. I would have been a much happier person!
So to wrap up this long speech... Don't let the crappy things you are going through in your life define your life! The Lord understood that I sometimes needed a pitty party. He probably just wishes they didn't last as long as they did. I am just so grateful that when I pulled my head up and cleared my mind that the spirit stepped in and mended my heart! It always gave me the strength to keep on keepin on!

Families are Forever!

Wow...it has been a long time I have posted anything on this thing. Is anyone still out there??? If I didn't have Facebook on my phone...people would wonder. (I hope they would!)
So December was a big month for our little family! On December 13th in the Third District Court, Judge John Kennedy granted our adoption to be legalized.

The fact that we were going to Court to legalize the adoption of our son felt weird to us. He had felt like our baby from the day he was born. It didn't really hit me until the morning of. To sit in front of a judge and to be sworn in...was a different experience. I wish everyone who had a child had to go to court and swear to a judge that you were going to love and care for your baby. I was so happy to have family there that have been so supportive through this process. It was an amazing experience and it was such a great day!

Then on December 17th, 2011 in the Oquirrah Mountain Temple we were Sealed together for time and all eternity! Ahhhhh!!

At the beginning of the adoption process I kind felt a little jipped (is that a real world). I wanted to be the one to carry the baby, to be pregnant...all of those things. Well when I was sitting in the sealing room and my mom carried my baby in. All of those feelings went away! Because not everyone gets to do what we got to do! The sealing was short and sweet and the amount of love that I felt that day is still overwhelming. I'm starting to cry just thinking about it! I have never felt so much love from my Heavenly Father as I did that day. My life is sometimes very surreal! I have been so incredibly blessed!
The next day Sunday December 18th, 2011...my husband blessed our beautiful baby! And during the blessing I was holding our birth moms hand as we both cried! It was an amazing feeling and I felt so much love and gratitude toward her .
Erica...I hope you always know that you were so much a part of that day and it meant the world to me to have you sitting next to me!
When I think about what it took to get Gavin to our family and what we went through...I would do it all over! I would experience every bad day again now that I know the outcome! I know so many people in there lives have hard times and wonder why they are going through something. And its so easy to say that it will get better...but its not always easy to hear. I was that person that would cry if someone with 4 kids would try and tell me they knew how I felt. Well I know now...we all have our stuff. We all go through hard and challenging things. I just know with 100% certainty...that after the hard stuff...there is GREAT stuff!

H A L L O W E E N 2011

This was Gavin's Halloween Costume this year...So freaking cute! When we were shopping for a costume it came down to this and a dragon. I loved both but couldn't decide. Morgan said to me, "Well you only have a couple of years that you can dress him like a chicken so you might as well do it now." So he was my little chicken for Halloween. Holidays are so much more fun with him...like everything else he just makes everything so much better!

Growing so fast....

Well little Gavin is getting so big so fast....it makes me sad! I'm excited for him to get bigger but I want to soak in every little second of him...it does scare me to think that he might be my only baby. So I don't want to miss out on anything!!
I decided to put together a monthly timeline in pictures so you could see how big he is getting.....

Is he not the cutest baby you have ever seen?? Every time I look at him my heart melts....I just cant kiss him enough! He is five months now almost six.
I wish I had done this every month but I might as well start now..instead of not starting at all.
At five months he is:
Playing with his hands all of the time
Loves to stand (with us holding his hands)
Rolling...cant get him to stop
Laughing
Talking to us...a-goo a-goo a-goo
Watching the dogs
Loves Apple Sauce & Sweet Potatoes
Loves the water!!
Loves giving kisses to his mama on the cheek...there slobbery but I love them!
Holding his own bottle...he gets frustrated when we try to hold it
Loves listening to his Mom sing...finally I have an audience...so there Mr. Findlay!!!
I love everything about him but especially:
Mornings
When I get him out of his crib..his smile is priceless
His laugh
When he grabs my face and sucks on my cheek
Watching him and Morgan together
Rocking him to sleep
Singing/Reading to him
Staying home with him
His little bum (awkward???)
So its pretty much a total love fest between the two of us. I feel so incredibly blessed and cant imagine my life without him. Next month we will finalize our adoption and go to the temple...awwwwww.....insert total bliss!!!

Love! Grattitude! Heavy Heart!

I have been wanting to update my blog with a bunch of cute pictures of Gavin, and I still will but I needed to write this while I had a little bit of time.
I woke up this morning like I usually do with such a heavy heart full of grattitude for my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and my Heavenly Father. I have been blessed with the most beautiful baby who makes me happier then I ever thought I would be. For a long time I was a bitter, frustrated and angry person. Not only have I become a mother but I have become myself again. I feel like my old self that was positive, happy and cheerful! That has been such a huge breathe of fresh air...to feel like me!
My sister is expecting a baby in April and I am excited! For the first time in 7 years someone told me she was pregnant and I didnt hold back tears! I didnt have to put on a brave face. I was 100% excited and the best part....I can say to them...Oh you just wait until this...or this...my sister actually said to me once when I was bathing Gavin...your going to show me how to do this, right! That statement alone made me want to cry!
So yep....I am LOVING being a mom to the most beautiful baby. Its crazy how many people ask..."So how are you liking it?" I LOVE IT ya FOOL! Of course I do...is usually my response. :)
Well pictures soon to come...I gots to go now because my baby is rolling all over the place and I almost done building his bubble room that he will spend the next 18 years in...dont worry...its really nice!!